hans.gerwitz

Ryan and Kelly talked me into joining them for the Monster Truck Jam. Kelly’s a fan. It was every­thing I expected.

The national anthem was preceded by a cheesy ritual of military personnel being asked to stand. Then veterans. Then their parents. Then police and fire fighters. I was disap­pointed that it didn’t continue to include all tax-​​paying citizens. Then the anthem itself was accom­panied by video of monster truck action. It was all very ‘Merican.

The “races” were inau­thentic. While there was a noticeable difference in a few driver’s abil­ities (only two didn’t late-​​apex every single turn), the announcer’s commentary was amaz­ingly predictive and several very controlled “loss of control” events led to the crowd favorites making it to the final rounds. Very close times were announced, but the score­boards displayed no actual data, there were no timing lights, and not even a stop­watch was made public.

The high­light, of course, is the “freestyle” event, for which scores are announced but no compe­tition appears to be involved. Mostly this consists of the trucks smashing into things until they “break”, but the only damage they took consisted of losing external parts (a wheel, fiber­glass shells) and the only spec­tacular destruction was the smashing of a Winnebago. Hardly worth the price of admission or the unpleasant reminder of how main­stream redneck culture is.

If you need rural culture and authentic destruction, I’d recommend a real demo­lition derby.