Piggers Are Number One

So hey, you catch the game last night? This giant dude in spandex pants totally threw a ball made of dead pork skin at another dude in shiny pants and then he ran super fast across a bunch of painted lines while more shiny-pant-wearing dudes chased him and leapt for his glistening spandex buttocks until he eventually crossed this other line which is apparently magical and makes the crowd stand up, bump chests, and clink bud-lights with each other. PIGGERS ARE NUMBER ONE! PIGGERS ARE GONNA GO ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR!

• The Oatmeal